Teaching yourself German
Eight ways in. One of them is free.
This is a board of the ways into German, kept the way a departure board is kept: one line per route, what it actually gets you, and the price as read on the day. Where a seller would not show us a price, the line is blank rather than filled in.
The Best App to Learn German
Almost every German app is good at the part German gives away free. The useful test is what it does for the part German charges for — and two of them will not tell us their price.
Read the noteThe Best Books to Learn German
Most German course books are written for a teacher to use in a classroom, entirely in German. Knowing that changes which shelf you should be shopping on.
Read the noteThe Best YouTube Channels to Learn German
Eight channels that exist, described in their own words, sorted by what they are actually for. With no subscriber numbers, and an explanation of why not.
Read the noteGerman Levels A1 to C2, and Who Issues Them
The levels are not the Goethe-Institut's, several separate bodies examine against them, and this page prints no exam fee at all. Here is exactly why.
Read the noteHow Long Does It Take to Learn German?
One respected figure exists, it says 828 class hours, and it is about full-time diplomats. Here is what it actually measures — and why this page will not turn it into a number of months for you.
Read the noteHow to Learn German Fast
There is no accelerator. There are several brakes, and taking your foot off them is the only honest version of this question — plus the sellers' claims, named.
Read the noteWhat this board is for
German is the easiest of the hard languages and the hardest of the easy ones, and the products sold to learners mostly address the fortnight where it is easy. This site exists to tell you which part of German has actually stopped you, and then which route is any good at that part.
Everything here is organised around one observation you can check for yourself: German gives an English speaker its spelling and its everyday vocabulary almost free, and charges for the grammar later, all at once. That ordering is why so many people enjoy their first month and quit in their fifth.
How the prices on this board are kept
Every figure was read from the seller's own page, on this machine, on the day printed next to it. Where a page served a currency other than the one we asked for, the currency it served is the one printed — no figure here has been converted, because a converted price is our arithmetic wearing the seller's authority.
Two sellers on the board gave us no usable price — one published none at all, one served a currency we will not convert — and the exam bodies gave us nothing whatsoever. Those three lines say so instead of carrying a number from elsewhere. A blank on a departure board is information, and so is this one.
What is not here
No timeline to fluency, because nobody who would know publishes one. No pass rates. No exam fees, because the two bodies that would know refused our requests outright. No coupon codes. No score out of ten for any product, because we have not run a trial that would justify a number and a number without a trial behind it is decoration.
There are commercial links on this site and they are labelled wherever they appear. The single strongest recommendation here — a public broadcaster's free course — earns nothing at all, and the disclosure explains exactly how that sits.